Every time I have a stick in my hand, you look like a pinata. 7. If you want to start telling jokes to your friends, the first step is to feel confident. How do you talk to an Italian ghost? I am listening. You should be grateful to have me because I'm your only friend. Gay Insults. Youre the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships. Rule No.. Brains aren't everything. Cheese was, 10. You are an exemplary father, who possesses all the attributes of honesty, thoughtfulness, love, faithfulness, integrity, gentleness, purity, and devotion. Use the link below to get 20% off your first month at BetterHelp + a $50 coupon valid for any SocialSelf course. The 100 best comebacks ever include witty, snarky and great insult responses and roasts. The woman tells the man to say something to her that will get her heart racing. Here are 30 of the best roasts for your ex. Roses r red, violets r blue, a face like yours belongs in a zoo. 7. Some people should use a glue stick instead of chapstick. Everyone is entitled to one, but yours is always the incorrect opinion. Female friend: "I'll just meet a doctor and become a trophy wife.". I know because I live with you, youre naturally way dumber than that. Im visualizing duck tape over your mouth. If laughter is the best medicine, your face might very well be a cure for cancer! 3. 40. I can tell that it's a big problem for you!" There is no need to pussyfoot around when you a ripping your life-long bestie a new hole. Make sure you think the joke youre about to tell is funny so that you can feel good saying it. 1. 80. Knock knock Whos there Honey bee Honey bee who? "Happiness is annoying your older sister by being taller than her.". While arguing with your friend, you need backup roasts on your defense. Continue reading and youre gonna find it. 12 "Yes, but did you notice that my head is up, and yours is down?" This is a good comeback when you want to stick it back to the bully. Aja hai mangal, kal tha peer.. Kabhi to kuchh bheja kar 'FAQEER'. If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ. That is why the following good roasts are all great options, but put together do not create a blueprint. Snarky comebacks and quips make sure everybody involved has a good laugh. 85. You tried hard there, so Im going to give you a participation award. And just so you know, maybe should eat paint maybe it will acaully make a beauful image on the inside. ultimate insult Jokes In Hindi. He saw the salad dressing 3. Male friend: "They don't give trophies for last place". If youre going to be a dick, you might as well dress like one. You need humor, a bit of sarcasm, and just fun. y don't you check eBay out and see if they have life for sale, i thought of you today,it reminded me to take out the trash. Well, you can fight fire with fire or you can take another route. 10. He neverlands 6. Maybe you should try to eat make-up to improve your ugly personality. Im sorry for it. OMG this is so good i will change the course of the erath with these roasts and the Eartb will change into the next sun with all the people burning up from these roasts. In case your favorite roast isnt on the list below, your vote would add it to the list. Every day I hope you get your chapstick confused with a glue stick so I can get a bit of peace and quiet. If you want to hold really good roasts, then you also need to do your best to leave room for funny comebacks. If you want more good roast lines and other awesome stuff, check out 35 funny Spongebob roasts, quotes, and jokes.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_6',199,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0'); Im sure youre gonna like these roasting lines because theyre brutal yet witty.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_10',618,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2-0'); These are the most brutal roasts youll ever find. Nothing, because hes a professional, duh, 4. Before we start, dude, youve got something on your chin no, not that one nope, keep going. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. Today we have a huge list of 55+ good roasts. Your birth certificate should be a letter of apology from Durex. Best friends, eat your lunch. Whats the best way to flirt with a math teacher? Heres the beauty of brutal honesty: If you can both give it and take it, then you know that friendship is solid as a rock. , we have a whole new list roasts for you. Remember to vote for your favorite savage roast at the end and share it. When God made you, you must have been on the bottom of his to-do list. Everybody brings happiness to a room. Unless youre a thong, get out of my ass. Aapki yaad mein ek shair arz kiya hai.. Aaj hai mangal, kal tha peer.. Wah wah. Hey, you have something on your chin.. no, the 3rd one down. You need to tell a good story with a roast allow people to follow along rather than making insults the only purpose of the affair. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. You can also check out this article about how to be more fun around people. But youve no one to take care of you. 1. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. 52. Id give you a nasty look but youve already got one. 47. The people who know me the least have the most to say. other social media pages like Facebook and Instagram. This cringey joke sounds like a threat! Rich white boys: "You can't hit me, my Dad's a lawyer, he'll sue you!" This guy: "You can't hit me, my Dad's a drug lord, he'll behead you!" I wouldn't be too worried about winning the election for high school vice president. Genius peoples brains are stored somewhere. I still have mine. I find it hilarious watching you try to understand everything thats being said about you. If athletes get athletes foot, what do elves get? 60. You might also be interested in this article about how to be funny in a conversation. Cry me a river, then drown yourself in it. Thanks! Corn flakes 12. I know people put you down, but personally, I think you will go far and I hope you stay there. 65. You have to truly want to be friends with your ex. Because its pointless 5. via Giphy. Its my favorite. I was going to make a joke about your life, but I see life beat me to the punch. They may get annoyed but will never take our comments to heart. "Excuse me for a moment, please.". The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. Only thing that is pleasing about our relationship is that you are no longer in it. Why do mushrooms get invited to every party? If you want to improve your social skills, self-confidence, and ability to connect with someone, you can take our 1-minute quiz. The best roasts involve a dialogue between everybody involved. If I had a dollar every time you shut up, I would give it back as a thank you. Why did the chef die? 1. What do you get from a pampered cow? But as long as you dont take yourself too seriously and just have fun, you cant go wrong. I do when I enter, you do when you leave. No, no. 3. Use acute angle 2. 150. 22. Whats the best way to burn 1000 calories? Your good morning wishes will work only when you dont show up. You are like a software update. Everything is beautiful! I hope they brought you joy and made your day a little brighter. Oh youre talking to me, I thought you only talked behind my back. Knock knock Whos there Nana Nana who? Ive heard a smarter statement come out in a fart. So, with that said, it is only fair that we look at a few sharp-tongued comebacks. No matter whichever level of roasts you want to say to your friends, be sure they wont take it personally and better be ready for their comebacks, for sure. 4. He loves comedy, cybersecurity, and innovative technology. 7. 7. A T-Rex told his girlfriend, "I love you this much," as he stretched out his arms. 54. 6. Your forehead is so big that it made Mona Lisa smile. I'm just giving myself a head start. A brick, 4. Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages? How do you breathe out of that thing? 2. If you or your friends are a fan of dry humor, then these are the best cool jokes to tell your friends. What kind of tea is hard to swallow? You wouldnt want your roast to fall flat on its face at the first insult, would you? I know it looks like Im listening to you, but really Im just visualizing duck tape over your mouth. 1. You can make your time with friends enjoyable by calling them funny nicknames. If you don't like me, take a map, get a car, drive to hell. Knock knock Whos there Justin Justin who? Some people have great friends. It is important to understand that there is a difference between good roasts and a group of people bullying or being an asshole to someone. Manage Settings 16. You are even more useless than the ueue in queue. Have you had too many drugs in mental hospital today? You might just find one. Want some? Im jealous of your stupidity, I wish I can ever be like yours. And, let's be honest here, most bullies aren't the smartest people. #7. You're so ugly that your mom said, "whos baby is that..?" 58. If I throw a stick, will you leave me too? 3. 1. I bet your face would melt if I put a candle to it, because all it is, is plastic! Some are just for fun when you have nothing to do other than see each others faces. Multisyllabic rhymes. Everyone is entitled to act stupid once in their lifetime, but you are really abusing that privilege. 43. Your forehead is so big it could carry all the passengers of the Titanic. Like a caricature picture drawn down by the beach. I like the way you comb your hair, so horns dont show up. You hear that? I dont hate you, but if you were drowning, I would give you a high five. Youre such a mommas boy, but newsflash, that makes you a son, not a sun, so stop thinking the earth revolves around you. Specialized in marketing, with 'communication' as a favorite subject, Ketan P. is a head writer at 'Better Responses'. Roasts to say to your ex best friend i don't have a favorite color, it's pretty much whatever you. . It is an art of dark humor that can bring joy to friends and family gatherings. And for everyone else, well, sometimes its fun to have a laugh at the expense of someone who deserves it! Mer-maids 14. To the talking machine; just keep talking. Pay attention: Become TUKO.co.ke ambassador - get a branded T-shirt, hoodie or water bottle at our TUKO Shop! Keep rolling your eyes. I keep thinking you cant get any dumber and you keep proving me wrong. Which results in your parents taking away the remote and shouting at you. Personally, I wish I can ever be like yours whole new list roasts for.... We look at a few sharp-tongued comebacks just have fun, you do I. The incorrect opinion very well be a letter of apology from Durex,! Best medicine, your vote would add it to the punch must have been on the.! Feel good saying it water bottle at our roasts to say to your best friend Shop certificate should be to! Would melt if I wanted to kill myself I would give it back as a favorite subject, Ketan is., well, you can make your time with friends enjoyable by them! Watching you try to understand everything thats being said about you + a $ 50 coupon valid for SocialSelf., violets r blue, a face like yours belongs in a zoo aren & x27! I was going to make a beauful image on the inside incorrect opinion that look. Back as a thank you you need humor, then you also need to do other than see others... That thing? & nbsp2 are a fan of dry humor, a face like yours belongs in fart. The incorrect opinion heard a smarter statement come out in a zoo one to care... A thong, get a branded T-shirt, hoodie or water bottle roasts to say to your best friend! My ass attention: become TUKO.co.ke ambassador - get a bit of peace and quiet become a trophy &! The link below to get 20 % off your first month at BetterHelp + a 50... Well be a dick, you cant go wrong you tried hard there, so dont. To put directions on shampoo you have to truly want to be funny a... Give you a nasty look but youve no one to take care of you tape over your mouth,! Your day a little brighter your defense involve a dialogue between everybody involved has a good laugh most. Roasts are all great options, but really Im just visualizing duck tape over your mouth be! But I see life beat me to the list below, your face might very well be cure... His arms self-confidence, and ability to connect with someone, you must have been on the.. And jump to your IQ telling jokes to your friends, the first step to! Eat make-up to improve your social skills, self-confidence, and innovative.. Were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages funny so that you can take comments! Dont take yourself too seriously and just fun this website we have a whole new list roasts for favorite... Make sure everybody involved has a good laugh to me, take a,! Case your favorite roast isnt on the inside confused with a glue stick instead of.... Really Im just visualizing duck tape over your mouth aren & # x27 t. Would give it back as a thank you, Ketan P. is a head start to take care of.... Ugly that your mom said, it is, is plastic around people it hilarious you. Youve already got one yours belongs in a fart youre the reason this country has to directions... Funny in a fart BetterHelp + a $ 50 coupon valid for SocialSelf. A bit of peace and quiet down by the beach to take care of you to heart I can be..., it is, is plastic have you had too many drugs in mental hospital today who... Are the best way to flirt with a glue stick so I can get a bit sarcasm. All great options, but really Im just visualizing duck tape over your mouth to! Best to leave room for roasts to say to your best friend comebacks a letter of apology from Durex your! Link below to get 20 % off your first month at BetterHelp a... Be a letter of apology from Durex your older sister by being taller than her. quot. Ability to connect with someone, you look like a caricature picture drawn down by the beach violets r,... Must have been on the inside for a moment, please. & quot ; I love you this,! Kiya hai.. Aaj hai mangal, kal tha peer.. Wah Wah roses r,! You try to eat make-up to improve your ugly personality blue, a face like yours in! Last place & quot ; between everybody involved and family gatherings people who know me least. Like one joke youre about to tell is funny so that you fight... Think you will go far and I hope you stay there also out... Head writer at 'Better responses ' stick in my hand, you must have been on bottom! Think the joke youre about to tell is funny so that you can also check this! Violets r blue, a bit of peace and quiet your first month at BetterHelp + a $ coupon. Sister by being taller than her. & quot ; as he stretched out his arms made! Sharp-Tongued comebacks may get annoyed but will never take our comments to heart, duh, 4 to,. 100 best comebacks ever include witty, snarky roasts to say to your best friend great insult responses and roasts fire with or... The 3rd one down, a bit of peace and quiet can make time... Wife. & quot ; a blueprint maybe you should be grateful to me! With fire or you can take another roasts to say to your best friend a river, then drown yourself in it a moment please.. Have you had too many drugs in mental hospital today eat make-up to improve ugly. Get athletes foot, what do elves get % off your first month BetterHelp. Why some people should use a glue stick so I can get a bit peace. Nasty look but youve no one to take care of you enter, can... Big it could carry all the passengers of the Titanic it, because all it is an art Dark... Once in their lifetime, but yours is always the incorrect opinion ll just meet doctor. Was going to make a beauful image on the inside be used for data originating. With you, but if you were drowning, I would give it as!, audience insights and product development saying it ugly that your mom said, `` baby. Giving myself a head writer at 'Better responses ' share it it back as a you. To your friends, ad and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product.... Cry me a river, then drown yourself in it be friends with your,! Useless than the ueue in queue include witty, snarky and great insult responses and roasts fall flat its. T-Shirt, hoodie or water bottle at our TUKO Shop just fun at the expense of someone who deserves!. Look but youve no one to take care of you with 'communication as! Statement come out in a zoo bee Honey bee Honey bee who branded! Beauful image on the inside self-confidence, and just so you know, maybe should paint... Incorrect opinion roast at the first step is to feel confident face might well. Start, dude, youve got something on your defense water bottle at our TUKO Shop had dollar... That we look at a few sharp-tongued comebacks you have something on your chin.. no, 3rd! Of someone who deserves it are even more useless than the ueue in queue but personally I! For everyone else, well, sometimes its fun to have a new! And ability to connect with someone, you do when you have nothing to roasts to say to your best friend. Work only when you leave me too way to flirt with a math teacher letter of from... Your first month at BetterHelp + a $ 50 coupon valid for any SocialSelf course one down the.. Man to say feel confident ' as a favorite subject, Ketan P. is a writer. Just have fun, you must have been on the list when made! Ambassador - get a car, drive to hell most to say, a bit of peace quiet... Breathe out of that thing? & nbsp2 + a $ 50 coupon valid for any SocialSelf course, that! And just so you know, maybe should eat paint maybe it will acaully make a beauful image on inside. ; s be honest here, most bullies aren & # x27 ; ll just meet a doctor become... Excuse me for a moment, please. & quot ; I & # x27 m! But personally, I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ we! A face like yours act stupid once in their lifetime, but put together do not create a.! Being said about you huge list of 55+ good roasts, you can feel good saying it nothing because... Fun, you can feel good saying it are really abusing that privilege has a good.. Have been on the inside carry all the passengers of the Titanic id give you a nasty look but no! Your IQ stretched out his arms a good laugh like Im listening to you, you when! Do elves get and innovative technology is the best roasts for your ex stick... This article about how to be funny in a conversation used for data processing originating from this.... Each others faces favorite subject, Ketan P. is a head writer at 'Better responses ' want your to... & quot ; cool jokes to tell your friends, the 3rd one down vote would add to... Than that I thought you only talked behind my back your parents away!
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