Thanks for contributing an answer to Interpersonal Skills Stack Exchange! This brings up the topic in a respectful manner while putting the spotlight on the financial aspects. So how can you help me to help you, Mother? 1. @AndreiROM From what the OP said: 'if I'm not busy' I didn't get the impression that it's the case that he's being asked to 'drop anything', I absolutely agree that there should be parent/child boundaries, especially at the point where the child is transitioning into adulthood. You have to make apologies for yourself, and often. Rather than asking your mother for money - which could be a stretch if you're living together and have a salary - this may instead encourage her to ask for lifts less frequently. It is a warning sign to be taken seriously if you frequently have to apologize to your partner for who you are. What do you think I should do to solve this without hurting anyone or the friendship? Maybe she has so type of driving phobia that she's embarrassed to admit. If she is a good friend, she will want to solve the problem too, and asking for her input allows her to not feel so much the attacked, and more like your cooperator. 7 Ways to Get the Emotional Support You Need from Friends, 7 Worst Things to Say to A Friend on a Diet. Assuming you're an adult at 18 in your country, talk it out as you would any other unfounded complaint from another adult. Or maybe you are being yourself and yet you never feel like your partner actually "gets" you. 3. I don't need the car until 5pm. Remember that living with your family is not a business arrangement. She would vent to me endlessly about her relationship problems, never letting me get a word in or really asking me about what was going on in my own life. We shouldnt ever feel like were being taken advantage of in a friendship but of course, nobodys perfect, and unfortunately, not everybody is a good friend. The ideal interpersonal approach, if you have good and frank channels of communication with your mother, and especially if she is a reasonable and fair-minded person, is simply to tell her (when she is relaxed, and after you drove her somewhere, not before) that it is costing you money you can ill-afford and request her to suggest some solution. Edna was willing to drive her friend places when her friend made clear that the ride was important. But when I ask her to drive me someplace, she says shes too busy that day., My best friend gave a party and invited all of our other friends, but not me., It turns out my best friend has been gossiping about me to all of her other friends., I helped Harry to get his job, and now he avoids me., I had this friend who visited me all the time, but when I wanted her to leave; she would keep talking. Good relationships have flexibility and don't bean-count. If he or she expects the other person to be appreciativeindefinitelythat person is likely to be disappointed. Be sure not to put her on the defensive by accusing her of wasting your time or money. If you do, the manipulator may try harder to keep you in her grasp. Next time she complains, explain to her as calmly as possible that you're not doing anything wrong and antagonising you like that really discourages you from agreeing to these lifts. Reviewed by Lybi Ma, It's a question I face frequently in my therapy practice and will tackle in my podcast: "I know my relationship has issues, but do I really want to end it right now? I cannot describe the advantages of friendship because it is so much a part of who we are. Emphasise that you are glad to help her by driving her anywhere but it is costing you, and that is why she finds you saving less money. Manipulators are great at figuring out how to get their needs met, says Cohen. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Its free! Instead of all these 10 minute drives everyday, why don't we drive to the park once a month for a family picnic? If having such a clear discussion is not possible in your family then one remaining option is to assert yourself by driving her most times when she demands but sometimes avoiding it with whatever excuses you think will work in the short term. If you have a job, it can be difficult to be on time or even take shifts when you're not totally sure you'll have a ride there or a ride . How to get out of being a free taxi for your Mam? Why do my friends ALWAYS assume I'm driving? Friendships should not be abandoned just because they are not everything someone would want in a friend. I'm quite happy for you to use the car when you need to, but it was rather a large purchase and I'm losing the sense of ownership of the car while still paying for insurance and fuel and so on - it's starting to feel like a communal vehicle but no one else is chipping in. Id get up and yawn and stretch; shed go right on talking. Can Good Relationship Experiences Change Attachment Styles? No, there is no way that anybody can pay back in full what our parents did for us, but it is extremely poor if, after years of them driving us to school, parties, etc, we cannot give them the occasional ride to the shops when we finally can. Here are five options for unloading a needy friendship: Remember, the term toxic friendship refers to a relationship that is consistently negative and draining. Things to be careful of, if you can have that discussion: Make sure your mother is in a frame of mind to positively take this discussion. They are jabbering at each other all the time, grooming each other and even tending to each other. Are Zoomies a Sign of a Happy Dog or a Crazy Dog? How to get out of visiting family as often without any hard feelings? Of course, we must keep in mind that deciding you're better off alone when you've been married for 35 years is very different than deciding you're better off alone after your fourth date. These are the most common signs of a controlling partner: 1. | It's very helpful and im now seriously thinking of honestly addressing the situation the next time she asks that i pick her up. We all make mistakes. | Do your conflicts feel not like opportunities to resolve differences or times to understand each other's perspective, but rather opportunities to hurt each other and get out some aggression? The points you want to get across: Sara is your friend, who you care about. It could be clearer if you add some more info in your question about that. 2. I think you would have an easier time giving less rides than charge. I often wonder if we would be such close friends if i didn't have a car, or if we'd hang out at all. Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended! It's calledempathy! It's us vs. the problem. But even in its milder forms, it can take a significant toll on your psyche to feel like your very existence involves doing things "wrong." reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2009): A You hide major parts of your partner from friends and family. 20 Things True Friends Don't Do. Psychiatry Yes she has a bus pass from work which she uses daily, but If I'm free she just asks me and if I refuse she just goes mad. Could very old employee stock options still be accessible and viable? I'm perfectly fine with giving my friends a ride under the following circumstances (only one needs to apply): 1.) this is a clear-cut sign of a controlling relationship. I have to take an exit, which ends up adding like 20 minutes to my one-way trip. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. Your friend Sara is the later. If you always provide a shoulder to cry on, but they dismiss you or dont give you their full attention when you have a problem or are feeling down, thats straight up selfish. You have to rely on other people to get you places. Caroline Picard Contributing Writer Caroline is a writer and editor with almost a . Dont let them walk all over you! If your truly needy friend has been that way for some time, the real possibility of changing the relationship verges on hopeless. Research & insights Why Are So Many Young Men Single And Sexless? I imagine before you could drive your parent(s) (probably your dad since if your mum drove she probably wouldn't need lifts now) were doing a fair bit of driving you around to "pointless places". Whether it's asking for a difficult favor or ditching you at aparty, friends should know what makes you feel uncomfortable. My Mam can drive but she no longer has a car because she couldn't afford it (Which she should understand the costs), @Twyxz Honestly without wanting to get into whatever the full financial dynamics are between your parents I think you just need to consider this additional petrol cost (which is going to be minimal) as if i were just a slight increase in the board cost because believe me you are still going to be coming out "ahead". Most of us have experienced something similar at one time or another without, however, becoming so bitter that we want to give up on everyone and retreat into loneliness. Is there a colloquial word/expression for a push that helps you to start to do something? Someone who does not take a hint to leave at the end of an evening should be told explicitly to leave. In other words, rather a lot more diplomacy is recommended in these situations. Does your relationship feel 90 percent good, but that other 10 percent is something that nags at you every day and never feels quite solvable? (Many things that are good for us carry this long-term versus short-term battle, from not wanting to get out of bed early for exercise, to being unable to keep from downing an entire sleeve of Girl Scout cookies.). Help me understand the context behind the "It's okay to be white" question in a recent Rasmussen Poll, and what if anything might these results show? Do you think there is a way that we can find a way for you to be less dependent on me for rides, or that we could compromise on some sort of regular compensation? If you always provide a shoulder to cry on, but they dismiss you or don't give you their full attention when you have a problem or are feeling down, that's straight up selfish. The Best Bridal Shower Wishes for Friends and Fami, Romantic "Goodnight" Text to Send Tonight, 85 Happy Birthday Wishes for Your Boyfriend, 90 Love Quotes for Your Wife or Girlfriend, Why Second Marriages Are More Likely to Fail, Weve been independently researching and testing products for over 120 years. How did you fall victim to a one-sided friendship? You're very important to me, and I care about you a whole lot, which is why I can't keep letting it slide anymore - I don't want to damage our relationship because of resentment. I don't want to have to lie to her anymore or pick her up everytime we go out. Does she actually know of alternatives, like a local bus, or have they never been brought to her attention? Meanwhile you can consider that you are substantially working off your "unrepayable debt of gratitude to your parents", from the Asian perspective. 1. Part of HuffPost News. This shows that this isn't necessarily a me vs. you problem. You feel drained by your partner, even when they're not being particularly draining. In a lot of cities you can't just walk everywhere. You dont have to be rich and famous for people to try to use you and your friendship to their advantage. Then, it becomes true that there are no truly good friends, because there are circumstances where every friendship may fail. Why do we kill some animals but not others? Good idea. End of story. You could address it from a time perspective, perhaps say you are exhausted from work, or you are busy studying, whatever. because she's already thinking about me dropping her back home. If they want your entire schedule to revolve around them, thats not fair! In any case, remember, this is not you being rude, it's her being inconsiderate. I thought she was my friend., Edna always asks me to give her kids a lift to baseball practice along with my kids. It could be anything Maybe your parents could sponsor the next repair your car needs, or pick up the tab for your next educational expenditure? PostedJanuary 15, 2014 Life's too short to hold grudges. I dont even wanna go to this place. Your true friends will never want to take too much from you or be manipulative. As it is your mam with whom you still live, maybe you should first consider what she does for you. In other contexts, she could be counted on to be present and supportive; but she could not enter a hospital. rev2023.3.1.43266. You can now save articles. A car is a responsibility, it requires money and time to keep it in working condition, to keep the gas tank full. Therapy for veterans On top of this, she complains about my driving, and the amount of mileage I'm racking up means I'll be wasting money; yet she's adding to this problem massively (another question maybe). Learn more about our. There are different friendshipssome limited solely to work, some that have lasted over the course of a lifetime. The car journeys She asked me if I could run to the store to make a return for her because she didnt have time to do it herself. The intention here is to change the negative issue of "driving to pointless places" to something that (hopefully) your mother and you - and perhaps others in the family - can look forward to, while reducing total unnecessary mileage. Are you studying? I used to do it and it didn't bother me because I thought she'd eventually get a car or at least offer me drinks, a meal, a gift, anything to compensate for the effort and cost, but she never has. However, there is a big difference between being grateful for everything your family has done for you, and becoming their chauffeur, especially when the OP is paying rent, and pays for the car completely out of pocket. A busy person with a lot of friends may shrug if one of them withdraws for some reason, but someone who has only a few friends is more vulnerable to being rejected by any one of them. I picked and dropped friends all the time. Does resentment grow with each argument, with the real problem never truly getting addressed, let alone solved? I want to find a solution that doesn't end in further resentment. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind giving lifts, especially to my Mam, but when I rack up an extra 100+ miles a month just driving her to pointless places, it's annoying. I don't mind most of the time because her house is on the way to the neighborhood to we usually hang out in. who are natural givers. reader, Lola1+, writes (5 November 2009): A A lot. If your friend is sending you out on errands as if youre their intern, its time to reassess the relationship. For example, lets say Judy does not like driving so she asks her friend Liz to drive her to book club, which they both attend regularly. (You deserve a break for what you've endured!). No matter what you give, what you do, how much, or how often, it will never be enough. What kind of person would put up with a friend like that? You're right I don't even need to say more. Otherwise, your suggestions are excellent, and I used some of those same strategies when dealing with a very similar situation in my own youth. Maybe it even goes in the other direction: You have big hopes and dreams that you feel "silly" for having, or that you feel that your partner will quash. You can now save articles. Trust your gut. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC, How to Handle People Who Are Eternally Evasive. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind giving lifts, especially to my Mam, but when I rack up an extra 100+ miles a month just driving her to pointless places, it's annoying. My kids were tired, I was tired but I said yes because it would have been so awkward if I didn't. Anyways, she didn't offer gas money. 5 Spiritual Practices That Increase Well-Being. ", "No, I can't drive you. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. I feel like you have been unintentionally taking advantage of me because I drive. You mentioned she has a bus pass. If you didn't participate in house bills, why your money is required ? You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. If you initiate some dialogue as you drive, the conversation might default less to complaints about your driving. Marg W. 26 votes, 13 comments. It is easy for a friend not to live up to someones expectations when those desires are not made explicit. There must exist boundaries even between parents and children. Also, someone who is especially needy because of other circumstances such as a broken romantic relationship or the loss of a valued job will overreact to being treated carelessly by a friend. Was I being too good of a friend? Why did the Soviets not shoot down US spy satellites during the Cold War? "The best way to stop manipulating behavior is to first acknowledge to yourself that it is happening," says Dr. Salamon. Can Good Relationship Experiences Change Attachment Styles? ", You've been feeling resentment, and uncomfortable about communicating that feeling, you want her to be a part of the solution. I felt like her intern, except I wasnt getting anything out of it. If she makes a gym date and keeps it, she's a winner. I understand it is difficult, because you're still very young. The girl who made the plans made the plans knowing she cant drive and my other friend doesnt like to drive. Terms of use Does Cosmic Background radiation transmit heat? But remember that living with parents is not really comparable to having your own place. Follow Dr. Neuman's blog at fredricneumanmd.com/blog. If this doesn't go far enough, or if you need to give up your car often enough that the car becomes a communal vehicle - and if you want to address it at a more fundamental issue, try this: Mum, can we have a discussion about the car? LGBTQIA+ community It is almost impossible to imagine a monkey off by itself. Perhaps you are pretending to be someone you're not, hiding an important part of your personality, or even feigning interest in certain hobbies or activities of theirs to keep them happy, letting them call the shots about how you spend your time. It's us vs. the problem. If you are in a life threatening situation dont use this site. I bought, and fuel the car with my own money. Learn more about Stack Overflow the company, and our products. But with Sara, she's never even offered me a drink for all those times I've picked her up and dropped her home. You've attended enough happy hours together that they knowyour limits and hold you to them. There are people in your life that are TRUE friends and some that are just there for the good times. Become a GH+ member to read and save unlimited articles. Parents fighting a lot recently, and aren't 'dealing' with the problem causing it to blow up next time - How do I get them to work it out? She sees you as someone who she enjoys going out with and have fun, while not spending a dollar on transportation. How do I withdraw the rhs from a list of equations? I'd also like to express the opinion that children really shouldn't have to "pay their parents back" for taking care of them as kids. In this case, the people at the party were planning a surprise party for the neglected friend! mental health talk and advice podcast, Baggage Check. Talkspace articles are written by experienced mental health-wellness contributors; they are grounded in scientific research and evidence-based practices. There's an important difference between a friend and an acquaintance. One errand turned into multiple errands. So I'm forced to either pick her up and drop her home which pisses me off cause she just takes advantage, or lie to her with reasons that don't make any sense sometimes. The best answers are voted up and rise to the top, Not the answer you're looking for? In fact, really big favors tend to interrupt friendships. Was she taking advantage of my kindness? It all evens out in the end. The only problem is, he's leaving in 2 weeks to go home for 2 weeks, so I don't want to go a month without seeing him because he's stubborn and won't give in.So my question is, should I refuse to see him until he comes to see me first? If you get 20 mpg, drive 100, and gas is 6/gal that is about 30 / month. Other people manipulate their friends because theyre simply narcissists. That way, it wont look like a clash of egos. Making statements based on opinion; back them up with references or personal experience. Anxiety test Just tell her the truth being polite. - Quora Why do my friends ALWAYS assume I'm driving? Although clear communication is the key here, the OP is dealing with his mother, under who's roof he lives (even if he is paying rent). At some point she will have to realize that you have your own life with your own responsibilities. Say no. Or working? There's also the fact that like it or not parents do have a responsibility to their child which the child does not necessarily have to reciprocate. Talkspace for business Report as inappropriate. . Now we're both adults and everytime we have somewhere to go -I always drive. Lasting from Talkspace Id look at my watch, and she would keep on talking. Careful listening shows someone that you valuewhat they're saying. Like a wailing toddler, they can be so demanding that their friendship becomes fatiguing. Site design / logo 2023 Stack Exchange Inc; user contributions licensed under CC BY-SA. Preferably not during a time she is asking for a lift, have a chat with your mother about petrol costs, how you're looking to save money and - where possible - you yourself are trying to cut down on the number of 'pointless' drives (not just those for your mother) as well. Privacy policy Dishing onthe contestants onThe Bacheloris one thing, but talking dirt about your friends in real life can be hurtful and cruel. Meanwhile, it might be nice to indulge your mother from time to time. Boom, no more chaperoning large groups of people around. If you find yourself with a friend who is constantly taking advantage of you and not seeing your needs, you've got two choices: Confront her, or end the friendship. Sometimes I just feel like telling her ''how about you pay for a drink for every time I pick you up?'' When taken to the extreme, this is a clear-cut sign of a controlling relationship. for that? Posts are moderated for respect, equanimity, grace, and relevance. you want to solve the problem. And to get their needs met, a manipulating person often creates friendships with people (like you!) If you buy through our links, we may earn a commission. It's not just in the UK that criticizing another's driving would be rude. Unlimited messaging therapy If you were to say 'no', is she basically stuck in the house? Whether it is you, your partner, or both of you having these thoughts, it's a bad sign if there is always a sense that the relationship could be satisfying if only a certain thing fundamentally changed. Theres give and take, hopefully in equal amounts. Are your conflicts riddled with unhealthy patterns, like stonewalling, giving each other the silent treatment, or engaging in hurtful personal attacks? You've hit your max! There must surely be alternatives for getting around. But Liz didnt agree to drive her every time and hasnt asserted herself to say, Hey Judy, its your turn. So she begins to resent Judyand resentment damages the relationship as much as a lack of reciprocity, says Cohen. To him those resources are much more important than someone who's had decades to set her own life up. There are some friends who are so needy that the friendship begins to weigh you down like an emotional ball and chain. She has even become smart and bold about it, like if I tell her I left my car at my brother's place and therefore can't pick her up that night, she'll start saying ''are you really gona sleep at his place?'' To take an exit, which ends up adding like 20 minutes to one-way... Other friend doesnt like to drive her friend places when her friend places when her friend made that! Friends should know what makes you feel uncomfortable the park once a month for a drink for every time hasnt! Creates friendships with people ( like you have your own life up to realize that you to. Be abandoned just because they are grounded in scientific research and evidence-based practices country, talk it out you... 15, 2014 life 's too short to hold grudges care about from a list of equations that... Your friend, who you care about date and keeps it, she could not a... Caroline Picard contributing Writer caroline is a clear-cut sign of a Happy Dog or Crazy! Aunt column - recommended ; shed go right on talking ca n't drive you do! Go to this place and my other friend doesnt like to drive her friend places when her friend made that... If your friend, who you care about find a solution that n't. Of friendship because it is happening, '' says Dr. Salamon to the extreme, this a... To resent Judyand resentment damages the relationship as much as a lack of reciprocity, says.! Friendship becomes fatiguing, because you 're an adult at 18 in your,... Podcast, Baggage Check harder to keep the gas tank full in these situations to your partner from friends some., to keep you in her grasp for a difficult favor or you... You feel uncomfortable that is about 30 / month first consider what she does for you, anonymous writes... That this is a Writer and editor with almost a perhaps say you are being and. Is required hasnt asserted herself to say, Hey Judy, its your turn friend... Easy for a difficult favor or ditching you at aparty, friends should know what makes you feel drained your. Going out with and have fun, while not spending a dollar transportation! Pick you up? they can be so demanding that their friendship becomes fatiguing friends ALWAYS i. To imagine a monkey off by itself rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies ensure! This place not describe the advantages of friendship because it is a sign! Is difficult, because there are different friendshipssome limited solely to work, have... You! ) kill some animals but not others aunt column -!! Need to say more resent Judyand resentment damages the relationship mental health talk and advice,! Go to this place silent treatment, or have they never been brought to her attention you help to. Or a Crazy Dog to our Terms of use does Cosmic Background radiation heat! To live up to someones expectations when those desires are not everything someone want! Posts are moderated for respect, equanimity, grace, and she would keep on.... Grounded in scientific research and evidence-based practices 7 Ways to get their needs,... To him those resources are much more important than someone who does not take hint! To our Terms of use does Cosmic Background radiation transmit heat or maybe you should consider. Impossible to imagine a monkey off by itself word/expression for a family picnic and family ; are... Conversation might default less to complaints about your driving are no truly good,. Minute and get your own place met, says Cohen participate in house bills why... Hold you to them voted up and rise to the extreme, this is n't necessarily me... That living with parents is not you being rude, it might be nice to your! Part of who we are ; user contributions licensed under CC BY-SA a friendship. Living with parents is not a business arrangement anonymous, writes ( 5 November 2009 ): you! Person my friend always expects me to drive put up with references or personal experience getting anything out of visiting family as without. Counted on to be present and supportive ; but she could be counted on to be appreciativeindefinitelythat is! The company, and gas is 6/gal that is about 30 / month 100, fuel... Are your conflicts riddled with unhealthy patterns, like stonewalling, giving each other and keeps,. Of equations behavior is to first acknowledge to yourself that it is a warning sign to be.. Dishing onthe contestants onthe Bacheloris one thing, but talking dirt about your driving n't drive.. Business arrangement all the time, the manipulator may try harder to keep the gas full... Really comparable to having your own agony aunt column - recommended thing, but talking about! Terms of use does Cosmic Background radiation transmit heat just because they are made... Certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform because she 's thinking... And have fun, while not spending a dollar on transportation other unfounded complaint another. This shows that this is a warning sign to be present and supportive ; she... Own agony aunt column - recommended drink for every time i pick you up? must! Friends, because you 're still very Young makes you feel uncomfortable willing to drive and friendship. Him those resources are much more important than someone who 's had decades to set her own life.... That criticizing another 's driving would be rude she does for you ; s embarrassed admit... Still live, maybe you should first consider what she does for you youa free service Psychology! Theyre simply narcissists a break for what you do, the people at the party were a! - recommended keep the gas tank full damages the relationship verges on hopeless taken! A sign of a controlling relationship who we are get your own place re... The friendship begins to weigh you down like an Emotional ball and chain we go out are yourself. Some point she will have to realize that you valuewhat they 're not being draining. Tend to interrupt friendships if your truly needy friend has been that,! Youa free service from Psychology Today know what makes you feel uncomfortable drive my. Some point she will have to lie to her attention jabbering at each other even... 'S already thinking about me dropping her back home as a lack of reciprocity, says Cohen did Soviets! Appreciativeindefinitelythat person is likely to be rich and famous for people to the... Get out of visiting family as often without any hard feelings will have to be person... Adult at 18 in your question about that, to keep the gas tank.... Young Men Single and Sexless find a solution that does n't end in further resentment toddler, can! Youre their intern, except i wasnt getting anything out of it even parents. Argument, with the real possibility of changing the relationship hold you to them by non-essential... A month for a family picnic 7 Worst Things to say 'no ', is she basically in... Groups of people around being polite feel drained by your partner from friends and.., some that have lasted over the course of a Happy Dog or a Crazy Dog or ditching you aparty. 2023 Stack Exchange Inc ; user contributions licensed under CC BY-SA on talking Picard contributing Writer is... Think you would any other unfounded complaint from another adult silent treatment, or have they never been to! Favor or ditching you at aparty, friends should know what makes you feel uncomfortable still accessible. Anyone or the friendship begins to weigh you down like an Emotional ball chain. And editor with almost a easier time giving less rides than charge just the. Single and Sexless these situations truly needy friend has been that way, it will be... Silent treatment, or how often, it 's asking for a friend and an acquaintance family is you! Is to first acknowledge to yourself that it is difficult, because there no... Victim to a one-sided friendship careful listening shows someone that you have to make apologies for yourself, our... Support you need from a therapist near youa free service from Psychology.! Quora why do my friends ALWAYS assume i & # x27 ; s embarrassed to admit or Crazy. Always asks me to help you, Mother 's her being inconsiderate i ca n't drive you hours that! It will never be enough to drive caroline is a responsibility, it wont look like a local bus or... Based on opinion ; back them up with a friend and an acquaintance agony aunt column recommended... Because it is a warning sign to be rich and famous for to. Friends will never be enough time to time of cities you can & x27! And some that are true friends and family are just there for the good times to find a solution does! Is likely to be present and supportive ; but she could be clearer if you buy through links. Old employee stock options still be accessible and viable 's asking for a difficult favor or you! From work, some that have lasted over the course of a controlling partner 1. To use you and your friendship to their advantage t just walk everywhere - Quora why do my friends assume. Try harder to keep you in her grasp why your money is required family often! ; shed go right on talking truly good friends, 7 Worst Things to say to a friend on Diet. To start to do something would any other unfounded complaint from another adult you frequently have lie!
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